1. |
Chaos
05:18
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there’s something in my blood I can’t pronounce, it could block my arteries and veins
my family says I’m worrying way too much, I’ve always been a coward
my brother is out on the ocean, he’s sailing all the seven seas on earth
the candle keeps burning in his window, I hope he’ll find his way back home
and I watched my mom eating pills, she was about to give up that night
so, chaos was holding my hand and said “I’ll be your companion ‘til the end”
on my last day, when I’m breathing out my soul
I hope you’ll remember me and a drunk guy will sing
“he always was a coward, he was some kind of obsessed,
he never got it right, but in the end he tried”
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2. |
Control
04:06
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dear particles of mine, dear fucking nine to fives
to my unborn child and all the bastards on my front porch
I have a camera in the back of my head to record all the bad ideas
I try to revive my optimism with this broken AED on a hospital floor
I even considered about moving to Grand Rapids
to find some kind of a sense, to find any kind of hope
and maybe there will be a plot twist
I’m taking back control, I’m taking back control
there’s an incessant humming in my ear
a constant reminder of my effort and my fear
I try to keep walking on pavement
with this strange gluey substance right under my feet
I even get jealous, when I see people praying
they found some kind of a sense, they found any kind of hope
and someday I will find my homeport
I’m taking back control, I’m taking back control
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3. |
They Are Coming Closer
04:04
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I keep fighting with my demons, they’re hunting me at night
while you’re sleeping, while you’re breathing next to me
so peacefully, so steady
there are gunslingers in town
spitting phrases to the ground, feeling younger than they are
and probably that’s why I’d rather stay at home
watching hockey and getting drunk on my own
you get tired of watching me collapse
I need to get rid of my restless legs and hands
and of my demons
sometimes I hate driving alone
and being far away from home, playing in a front of a shitty crowd
I should reach higher ground
to get a clear view on some things and to exhale all the dust and smoke
when I close my eyes to fall asleep, I hear a blizzard in my head
and the demons approaching
they’re coming closer
I’m getting fatter every day and slowly my hair turns into white
I can’t promise, that I’ll win that fight
but I can promise to be there, while you’re sleeping so peacefully
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4. |
||||
and here is the bad news, no one’s waited for you or your stupid fucking pictures
you keep talking about inspiration, I can taste my guts while reading
and your blankets get salty by dawn, when you cry yourself asleep each night
the silence surrounds you in your bed, you got bigger fish to fry, you got bigger fish to fry
we are like French movies, we keep on talking but nothing will happen in the end
and sometimes life just hits you like the AC on a MTA bus in September
here is the good news, no one’s waited for me or my stupid shitty songs
all these lyrics about human beings, no one will remember
and I love watching red eared sliders swimming in New York Central Park,
making all these people laugh
still not afraid of growing old, I got bigger fish to fry, I got bigger fish to fry
we are like French movies, we keep on talking but nothing will happen in the end
and sometimes life just hits you like the AC on a MTA bus in September
and here is the sad news, we are not red eared sliders swimming in New York Central Park
we keep talking about all these things, before we walk away, returning to that cold house in our hearts
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5. |
Sad Barrista Patterns
03:55
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could you please spell your name for me, I can’t hear what you are saying
and would you please make your choice right now, what kind of piss you’d like to drink
I can’t tell you about the roast but I can tell you, how to get roasted
would you please stop being pathetic, I just want to go home
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6. |
MLN Dialog
02:20
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some days before my grandma passed away, she cried and collapsed in my arms
she was scared to death about the death, my tongue felt numb and my mouth turned dry
but I still wouldn’t know what to say, I keep fighting the supremacy of unconvincing prophecy
and confidence is setting a fire, I am not 22 anymore, I am not 22 anymore
my parents they’ve always been afraid, I never got into that stupid career thing
and there is a layer of dust on my three fat books, that I’ll never read
I don’t have a college degree, I was touring with my punkrock band and Kansas in our hearts
And thankfully I’m walking through the night, I am not 22 anymore, I am not 22 anymore
I can not breath at walking pace, acceleration got out of hand
but my legs keep on moving and this one is for us, we are not 22 anymore, we are not 22 anymore
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7. |
Pandemic
04:14
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it came with no surprise to the point of great remorse
and the anchor man’s afraid, as he’s reading the announcement in the morning
I lock my door and count to ten, while the birds are singing in the trees
my emotional range becomes closer, we saw it coming
my legs are feeling tired, I’m running circles in my room
I keep on counting the days here in quarantine
I miss my friends, I miss my friends
I watch the sunset over ghost town, the air I breath tastes pretty old
I watch my neighbor through the window, his dog seems pretty bored
and in the treasury department the blood is dripping from the ceiling
I’m running short of confidence, I’m running short of hope
my legs are feeling tired, I’m running circles in my room
I keep on counting the days here in quarantine
I miss my friends, I miss my friends
and it came with no surprise to the point of great collapse
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8. |
||||
I asked my friend Chris Snelgrove, if he’d like to share his thoughts on chaos and control with me
these are his very own words, no lyrics needed, please listen carefully
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9. |
Harvest Season
04:05
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you’re digging in the dirt, you’re breathing in the dust you don’t deserve
you came such a long way with the tie around your neck, keep your focus
and after a long day you’re driving to the darkest part of this town,
to the women you don’t know, to find yourself a little love, you’re a dynamite man
we can’t change our skin, we fold our hands for the suffering to end
it’s harvest season for the first time in our life
and maybe we deserve so much more than this
it’s harvest season, it’s harvest season
she’s digging in your dirt, she’s taking good care of your loved ones
and if there’s fortune, she’s always been late
at the end of a long day, she’s driving to the darkest part of this town
with the all familiar sounds to kiss her children good night, she’s a dynamite girl
we can’t change our skin, we fold our hands for the suffering to end
it’s harvest season for the first time in our life
and maybe we deserve so much more than this
it’s harvest season, it’s harvest season
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10. |
||||
my father always taught me to cherish all the things we have, God bless the island
but I can’t change who I am and how my heart beats, they would chase me
when the night comes, I will float out with the bats into the dark skies, we’ll be heading north
and I will ring the bell of this tiny red chapel and I will sing
can you hear me, can you hear me, I am the hope and the heart of this nation
can you hear me, can you hear me, I am the hope and the heart of this nation and I’ll become
my mother always taught me to fall in love head over heals
our old house of legacy and pride, there are cracks in the walls, there is poison on the floor
when the night comes, you will be gone, I’ll hear the flapping in the distance,
I will pray for you my son
and I’ll become the eighth color of this land, and you’ll become the eighth color of this land
can you hear me, can you hear me, I am the hope and the heart of this nation
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