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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Protect Your Golden Heart

by Citizen Tim

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1.
Broken Car 03:49
You have all these picture postcards from Seattle on your fridge. There are so many clouds above your head You can watch your broken car from the grocery store eight hours a day, six days a week. There’s so much left to see. Your kids they keep waiting down by school yard in the rain, you’re late again. Is there anything left for you? And you can’t stop thinking of the corn fields in Wisconsin and the Everglades down in Florida. There’s so much left to see But you just watch your broken car with these clouds above your head six days a week, it’s a lifetime. There’s nothing left for you here!
2.
Old Arsonist 03:37
There’s nothing more embarrassing than getting drunk with college girls you don’t know. You keep talking about these bands no one ever heard of. You are punk as punk can be. Sometimes you forget about your hands. Way too often you forget about your wife. And all the girls around you are rolling their eyes, you are poor as poor can be. There won’t be a city council meeting about you or the bands you used to play in. You seem tired old arsonist. There’s no conscience in your heart, no mirror in your apartment, you are fucked as fucked can be. Sometimes you don’t care about your hands. Way too often you don’t care about your friends. And all the girls around you are rolling their eyes, you are poor as poor can be.
3.
All of my friends avoid to eat animals. Most of my friends refuse to drink alcohol. And sometimes I feel a bit ashamed. Like I can’t rely on myself. Sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed. I can’t rely on myself. All of my online friends, they’re well educated. They keep posting ‘bout politics and every type of phobia. And sometimes I feel a bit ashamed. Like I can’t rely on myself. Sometimes I hear Dr. No in my head: “Scales do not lie but people do!” Maybe there’s war on the internet. And I am a parent now. We haven’t talked for a while. But I can rely on my real friends. All of my real friends, they are family to me.
4.
Teammates 03:02
Your mother, she fixes all the broken hearts A good heart, is something you have to strive for Your father, he ain’t the smartest guy around But at least he’s trying to take good care of you And I just hate all those silly cheesy love songs And this life is hard to get through, I know my dear But we’re teammates until the day I die Before you die, I hope There are lawyers and all these crazy church guys Who Want to tell you about right and wrong Please don’t listen to all of our advice Live and learn, just keep us in your good heart So here I am, singing you a love song Never trust these church guys don’t fall in love with lawyers This world can be a great place and this life’s supposed to be lived I am not a smart guy but I’ll be there to take care of you
5.
I am the hockey goalie I’m the most important man on the ice I’m throwing my whole body To stop each puck before crossing the line I have my D-line in front They try to stop every opponent And even if they can’t, I will take care ‘Cause I am the hockey goalie After a long shift on the ice I wouldn’t disappear without a sign I’m driving to the kitty corner, waving to the rinks ‘Cause I am the hockey goalie I am the hockey goalie I’m the most important man on the ice But I’ll know when my time has come When I can’t throw my body any longer There will be the next mask in line And my D-line will have to admit We have to move on and the puck crossed the line I used to be a hockey goalie After a long shift on the ice I wouldn’t disappear without a sign I’m driving to the kitty corner, waving to the rinks ‘Cause I used to be the hockey goalie
6.
Initializing 03:53
7.
I forgot to buy those tissues again. You forgot to take a deep, deep breath. Would you say we’re doing mostly okay? Would you say our hearts are filled with gold. There are tiny footsteps in the kitchen Another reminder to take care And there is this tiredness in our faces Another reminder to watch out You forgot to call your mom today while I just kept staring at the ceiling Can you hear our daughter won’t stop crying? Can you feel the shaking of an earthquake? There are tiny footsteps in the bathroom Another reminder to take care And there is this tiredness in our faces Another reminder to watch out When it’s 4 am again And the earth begins to shake Then we look at our tired faces We start to laugh ‘cause this home
8.
Barely Alive 04:03
He left home with a burning in his heart He left the office his head hanging low All these reminders of the person, he used to be Are pictures in frames on the wall fading to grey Useless calculations, the appointments, the pain in his chest He can’t remember the day, he became a part of this game And he’s thinking of his dog, who got hit by a car, covered in his own blood He was barely alive but he seemed to be satisfied Old heavy heart, you’ve turned into stone Oh everlasting fear, please let him breathe And all these tiny prayers and sayings he learned from his mom Nothing seems to help, he’s fading to grey He’s remembering his father’s words Life is not a bargain And he is thinking of his dog Life is not a bargain
9.
The color of your eyes has changed And so has the color of your heart I’ve never seen such a thing before I’ve never seen a father in grief. The jury has no mercy. It’s the biggest trial, you’re all alone The dice are thrown, you can’t flip the coin. Empty phrases, empty sayings, useless prayers. The shadows on your back Going to chase you ‘til the end of your days But through the darkest days and through the darkest nights We are here and we will guide you home You are here and we will find a new home You can barely describe the pain There’s an anger in your heart and on your mind You never talked to God or any other creature. Clear your mind, you’re a rational man. The doorbell won’t stop ringing. Your front porch has become a busy place. It’s a lighter’s job again, burn all those condolences. You get tired of playing hide and seek. Bring in the tiny coffin We’re here on your side Bring in all the flowers We’re here on your side Through the darkest days And through the darkest nights We are here And we will find a new home
10.
You were born with a golden heart, heavy as a rock Nothing you say could ever be wrong It takes more than integrity, it’s a burden to carry, you seem blessed Society keeps waiting for redemption or a miracle But syndrome is just a term, that won’t wash away our sins Your mom gave up, your mom was too weak for your golden heart Some may call you special, you feel so insecure It might be the reflection of the poverty of our own And WBS, three letters you don’t know, protect your golden heart And when we’re close to the end, we’ll be gathering around you We’ll be listening so closely, embraced by your warmth You’ll be playing the trumpet, the hero we’ll need with the golden heart Take care of your golden heart Protect your golden heart

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released September 29, 2023

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Citizen Tim Saarbrücken, Germany

C IS FOR CHAOS/CONTROL

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